Amen to this
one time when i was like 12 my dad wanted me to put a dvd in the dvd player and i was like ‘what do i get in return’ and he said ‘you can have half of the winnings of this stupid lotto ticket’ and he ended up winning 600,000 dollars and i was so pleased with myself. 300,000 dollars when youre 12 is pretty much like infinity dollars. he was so mad
Shit, man, $300,000 would be like infinity dollars to me now.
Steve Irwin (1962 - 2006)
Michael Faudet (via michaelfaudet)
The most sober thing a drunk person could say (via fuglyhottie)
y’all are like “ooh everyone is beautiful” “ooh everyone deserves to feel hot” and then three seconds later you’re making fun of people who cover their acne with makeup and people who haven’t mastered winged eyeliner yet like grow the hell up you don’t get to pick and choose times to be body positive
not moving out of the way for males when you’re walking somewhere is so great, they act so surprised and offended that you didn’t acknowledge their space
SO AT WORK TODAY I WALKED IN AND MY MANAGER WAS ON THE GROUND CRYING AND I WAS LIKE KIM WHAT’S WRONG AND SHE POINTS TO THE ORDER SCREEN AND IT SAYS WE NEED TO MAKE 2000 PIZZAS BY 6 PM SO I CALLED THE GUY AND HE WAS LIKE “I MEANT TO ORDER 20 PIZZAS OH MY GOD I’M SO SORRY I’M ON MOBILE” AND I’VE NEVER LAUGHED THAT HARD IN MY ENTIRE LIFE
Maddy. 18. Love books, Doctor Who, Cats and of course the stupid idea of falling in love. Partially broken but putting myself back together.